When people say "I can't imagine..." to me, it feels like they are pushing me away. Like they are saying--this happened to you, not to me, thank God! I know that's not what they want me to feel, and I know they are trying to be sympathetic, but this is not a good phrase that gets that job done, in my opinion. I prefer: I am so sorry that you lost your (fill in the blank). The after that it helps if they share a memory of my person, or, if they never met my person, ask their name. It's okay to add, I'm sad for you. Those are the things I want. To share a memory, say my person's name, and have someone acknowledge my sadness.
Most times, those who haven't experienced a significant loss have no idea what to say. I'd rather hear "I can't imagine" than just see a heart emoji.
I admit that before my son died in 2020 I had zero clue what to say to a grieving person. After he died I realized how insensitive I've been in the past because I'd only put in the effort of a heart emoji.
When people say "I can't imagine..." to me, it feels like they are pushing me away. Like they are saying--this happened to you, not to me, thank God! I know that's not what they want me to feel, and I know they are trying to be sympathetic, but this is not a good phrase that gets that job done, in my opinion. I prefer: I am so sorry that you lost your (fill in the blank). The after that it helps if they share a memory of my person, or, if they never met my person, ask their name. It's okay to add, I'm sad for you. Those are the things I want. To share a memory, say my person's name, and have someone acknowledge my sadness.
Most times, those who haven't experienced a significant loss have no idea what to say. I'd rather hear "I can't imagine" than just see a heart emoji.
I admit that before my son died in 2020 I had zero clue what to say to a grieving person. After he died I realized how insensitive I've been in the past because I'd only put in the effort of a heart emoji.