Thank you to everyone who tuned into my not-entirely-fearless foray into Substack Live’s broadcasting yesterday. I delighted to see so many engaged viewers during the conversation with after loss professional
, in which we went deep into the maze of estate settlement and thinking through your own plans: aka, “sadmin.”I’m sharing the video in its entirety because Rachel is a treasure trove of helpful advice. Feel free to drop a question in the comments section for Rachel to answer later. And grab her new book, Late To Your Own Funeral: How To Leave a Legacy and Not a Logjam.
A few takeaways from a very wide-ranging chat:
😱 The average estate settlement process can take from 13-20 months.
💯 There can more than 100 tasks that need to be completed when somebody dies — from paying immediate expenses to transferring car titles or other deeds, to getting a tax ID from the IRS or spending time figuring out where a beloved pet might go and closing the Netflix account and distributing the figurine collection. The list goes on.
⏳ It can take an executor more than 500 hours of work to settle that estate.
🗝 In the immediate aftermath of a death, protect the time you need to plan any funerals or memorials – as well as your emotional and mental space – by doing a few important tasks up front to seal off certain places that you don’t want a carousel of people getting access to. This will give you some peace of mind that you can deal with them when you’re ready to:
Locate a will and any important paperwork
Clean out any perishable items
Forward the mail to the person who will be in charge
Secure the person’s property (including vehicles). Sadly, Rachel has heard too many tales of neighbors and family members showing up with, let’s just say, sticky hands.
📲 When thinking through your own estate planning, make sure your power of attorney includes authority over both tangible and digital assets. There are several online tools that you can set up to delegate legacy contacts, including Apple, Facebook, and Google (whose inactive account manager prepares for both an incapacitation as well as a death).
Join our May 6 live: Mother’s Day Grief: The real, the raw, and the ridiculous
Mother’s Day can loom large. Join me and my friend, psychotherapist and podcast host
, for a live session on the mess of it all, complete with both creative and practical ways to move through these days. I’ve loved how interactive these Lives are, so bring your questions and comments along with you. And a reminder that you’ll need the Substack app to access them, which you can download below.
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