The Modern Loss Handbook is out 💛
This one's for you. Plus, come find me on tour!
Hi everyone.
Two years ago, in the first months of this seemingly interminable pandemic, I found myself holed up in my guest room/office/silent primal scream hideaway with little else to do than be in my own head over all the grief that seemed to be overflowing from all parts of society.
Grief over the loss of our daily lives, our perceived futures, the roles we could no longer easily access and the additional roles we didn’t anticipate taking on, the terrifying news cycles, the coping mechanisms and go-to rituals that now seemed out of reach. And, of course, grief over the deaths of our people, both during the pandemic and resurfaced from older losses.
I’ve run Modern Loss for nine years. So I’m used to being the person who friends (and friends of friends, and second cousins of friends of friends, you get the picture) go to for all sorts of questions on the mess of loss. But I’m just one person, and that person was also dealing with all of the above, just like you were. So I made myself sit at my desk in that very guest room (look up the term sitzfleisch, it’s pretty brilliant) and poured everything I’d learned – personally, from the greater ML community which is much wiser than I am, and from the experts with whom I am fortunate to have meaningful relationships – into 240 pages bound between two book covers.
Earlier this week, The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience, officially published and is available wherever books are sold.
This is the book I wish someone had given to me in my early days, months, and even years after my losses. A thing that reminds you of your own power to help you stay connected to your person, yourself, and the world around you. A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure with no judgment, some levity, creative and therapeutically-anchored ideas, and lots of encouragement and you-do-yous as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else. I hope you consider getting a copy for yourself or someone else, because I really believe it can help. I mean, it even has stickers.
You can find it at Indiebound, Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, Amazon, Hudson Booksellers, and beyond.
Rest assured we will return to our regular programming of thoughtful essays and in-depth interviews with notable humans. But first, thank you for allowing me to pause and appreciate a moment like this one alongside this community. They don’t come along all too often.
— Rebecca Soffer
Modern Loss on CBS Mornings!
On May 13 I was thrilled – and a bit stunned – to be on CBS Mornings with Gayle King, Anthony Mason and Tony Dokoupil. I’m grateful to the CBS team for highlighting the Modern Loss community on national morning television. On the way to set, about five seconds before our live interview, Gayle (who is as terrific as you’d want her to be) looked back at me with a smile and said, “Rebecca, we’ve had a great show so far. Don’t f*#k it up.” Hope I didn’t! Watch the clip above.
Upcoming events — come say hi IRL!
Tuesday, May 24 @ SaksWorks in New York City
Join us for a lunchtime event at the gorgeous SaksWorks, located in the penthouse of Saks Fifth Avenue's iconic Midtown Manhattan flagship building. I’ll be in conversation with Hitha Palepu, CEO of Rhoshan Pharmaceuticals and author of the book We Are Speaking: The Life Lessons of Kamala Harris: How to Use Your Voice, Be Assertive, and Own Your Story.
Program begins as 12 pm. Reserve your free ticket here.
Wednesday, May 25 @ Rizzoli Bookstore in New York City
Celebrate our Six-Word Memoir storytelling at one of the most beautiful bookstores in New York City. I’ve invited my friends Sara Benincasa (comedian, host of the podcast “Well, This Isn’t Normal" and the author of "Real Artists Have Day Jobs"), Michael Cruz Kayne (writer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and host of the podcast “A Good Cry”), Steve Waltien (also from Colbert and the Improvised Shakespeare Company) and Rachel Sklar (founder of the Li.st) to share stories that stem from our losses – the good, the bad, the ugly, and even the hilarious. I may just ask you to share some of your own, too.
Doors open at 6 pm, event begins at 6:30 pm (sharp!) Reserve your ticket here.
Please note, guests over the age of five must wear masks and show proof of vaccination (either a vaccine card or an Excelsior Pass).
Wednesday, June 1 @ Sixth & I in Washington, DC
Join me at Sixth & I – the powerhouse epicenter of DC’s cultural and ideas programming – in conversation with Invisibilia’s and Slate’s DoubleX’s Hanna Rosin.
Doors open at 6 pm, program begins at 7, followed by a book signing.
Get your tickets here and use our special community code MLSIXTHRS for $5 off in-person single tickets and ticket + book bundles.
Masks and proof of vaccination are required.
My book arrived this week and I started reading it right away! I already wrote a recommendation for it in my newsletter for Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief! Thanks so much for all the help this book is going to bring to so many people!
Received in yesterday's mail! Thank you.